Day 8: the kind of Mom I want to be

Just this verse today, Romans 2:4,

“Or do you think lightly of the riches of His kindness and tolerance and patience, not knowing that the kindness of God leads you to repentance?

I heard these words in church, and they resonated in my heart all day as I thought about them in relation to the kind of mother I want to be, drawing my children into relationship with kindness and patience, capturing their hearts with love rather than sharp words and demands. 

What Scripture verses do you cling to as a parent? 

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Day 7: waiting

Yesterday I spent six hours at our adoption agency in a training called “Coping with the Wait”.  Our adoption certification was final almost a year ago, so it was a timely and helpful topic to think about.

Early in the Spring of 2011, my husband and I attended an orientation through Bethany Christian Services, where we learned about their Domestic Infant Adoption program.  We had already done a lot of research and had been to an orientation with our county for foster care.  Our hearts resounded with a unified, “Yes” after the Bethany orientation.  We plunked down the money, took the stack of paperwork home, and with that step, began the journey toward our adopted son or daughter.

How do you wait for someone when you don’t know their arrival time?  How can you prepare for an event when you have no control over its outcome? 

I may not yet know the specifics, but this is what I DO know about the person I am waiting for:

: they have been purposefully created by a God who loves them.

: they are not a mistake

: they are supposed to be a part of our family

: the road to them has been terribly long and unbelievably hard

: the journey to reach them has a purpose in my life that is being fulfilled day by day

: God is with me right now as I am waiting, and is also present with the one I am waiting for

: this is not merely about my desire to parent another child, but God, in His infinite wisdom and power can use this desire in my small, human heart to fulfill His divine purposes in other lives, in the life of the child who will join our family, and in their family of origin, Lord willing, to bring about His purposes in their lives as well.

Isaiah 40:31 was shared with us yesterday during the training, and it stayed with me as we came home and went about the rest of our day.  Here it is, along with a couple of other verses on waiting:

Isaiah 40:31 “But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.”

Psalm 33:20 “We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and shield.”

Isaiah 64:4 “Since ancient times no one has heard, no ear has perceived, no eye has seen any God besides you, who acts on behalf of those who wait for him."

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Day 6: gift after gift

counting gift after gift from His hand yesterday, an ordinary day lived under the extraordinary grace of God…

: hot coffee made by my loving husband splashed liberally with half and half

: hearing my son and my husband laugh together, truly enjoying themselves

: learning about whales with my girls, all of us truly in awe at these creatures God made

: a working oven!  Ours had been on the fritz for months, sometimes working right, sometimes not.

: three yummy pizzas dinner last night: cheese, pepperoni, and my personal favorite, pesto

: family movie night

: cooler temperatures!  108 in October is just painful…

:  my loving Mama, who shares our home, and who will also watch our kids today as we head to an adoption training

: a playdate for my girls which was a gift for me because I so enjoy talking with the Mama of their friends

: re-reading Pride and Prejudice and loving Elizabeth Bennett more than ever...Darcy too!

What gifts have you unwrapped from His hand today?  I am grateful to Ann for teaching me how to notice His gifts in my everyday.

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Have you found some great series from the other 31 Dayers?  Let me know!  I am enjoying reading over other, and would love to hear your what you've found.  I particularly enjoy Elizabeth Foss, who I read daily everyday, but her focus on the Mission of Motherhood is excellent.

Day 5: {Five Minute Friday} Welcome

I am joining in with Lisa Jo and her Five Minute Fridays for my Day 5 post today.  These have been great prompts over the last few weeks to get me writing and thinking creatively.  And I love the word for this week: welcome.

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I could hear happy shouts of jumping kids on the trampoline as I carried the Beware of Dog signs, nails and a hammer out to the front fence.  Our previous signs had not survived a big windstorm.  This was the kind of job I wouldn’t normally do, but when your husband is deployed, you pick up the hammer and put the signs up yourself.

My stomach was fluttery as I held the sign and began pounding in the first nail.  My cell phone nestled in my pocket and I was waiting, waiting for it to ring.  My happy, jumping kids were oblivious that today their Daddy was making his way home for his two-week R & R in the middle of his deployment to Afghanistan.   

I wanted his coming to be a surprise, to just pile into the car and head to the airport once he called to say he had arrived.  Should be any time now.

I stopped hammering and looked over my shoulder at a strange van pulling up in the neighbor’s driveway…an airport shuttle van.

Is that?….could that be?…would he have?….then the door opened, a thick, Army-issue boot stepped out, and it was him.  No longer on the Skype screen, but here in front of me.

Long hugs, long kisses, long looks…

Oh, the kids!  I run to the back, “Hey kids!  Who do you want to see most in the whole wide world?”

“George Washington!” (seriously, someone said that!)  Try again!

“Daddy!!!” 

So the four of us ran out front where my husband still stood, tall and thin in his uniform.  He bent down and his arms were full of his three children, squeezing, laughing, kissing…welcoming.

Welcome home, my love.

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Follow the link to read more 31 Days posts:

Day 4: a new song

How does a girl who once fell for a lie end up believing the truth?

In high school I met a man, and intern at my youth group, who wooed me with his auburn hair and chocolate eyes, melty voice and gold guitar.

When the guitar-playing, chocolate-eyed intern returned my interest, I was astounded.  No one had ever singled me out to love before, and now here was this up-front, playing worship music on Sundays guy writing me love notes.

I fell hard.

Not just onto the ground, but into a deep, dark pit of ugliness, lies, smoke and mirrors, and sin. 

We dated for two years during which I was active in my church youth group and in our traveling church choir.  I was also dating a violent, manipulative, lying, drug addict.

A young girl who longs to be loved can know the Truth and still believe lies.

At the end of two long years, by the sweet grace of God, everything hidden became visible and the Light shone into the darkness of what I was experiencing.

Sometimes I think it was Jesus there on the other end of the phone, but really it was Pastor Paul.  He listened to my story. He reminded me of the Truth.  He helped me see the Way out.

I was taken out of the miry pit, my feet were set on a Rock, and I was rescued, set free.  Have you heard the song ‘40’ by U2?  It is based on Psalm 40.  It always makes me cry because it tells exactly what God did for me. 

I waited patiently for the Lord

He inclined and heard my cry.

He brought me right out of the pit,

Out of my miry clay.

I will sing a new song...

What new song has God helped you to sing?  I would love to hear your story, to rejoice with you! 

Looking for some great organizational, creative, inspirational ideas?  Check out the other 30 Dayers!

Day 3: monkey see, monkey do

Early this morning as I drove home from the gym, I heard the radio hosts ask this question, “What are you modeling for your children that they will then model for their own?”  

I thought about how every week my husband and I welcome a group of college students into our home for Bible study.  Students come from our church, or the nearby university, friends bring friends and the group has ebbed and flowed now for two years.  Some evenings we may have a student or two join our family for dinner, which is a great time to get to know them better, and for them to interact with our three kids.  Once the rest of the students arrive, I serve brownies or popcorn and the students jump on the trampoline with our kids or sit at our table discussing science concepts that are way over my head.

Eventually, our kids head into our bedroom to watch a movie on my laptop and we corral the students into the living room where my husband leads us in Bible study.

Fifteen years ago, as a college student, I lived with a family who modeled to me exactly this kind of hospitality.  They held a weekly Bible study for college students in their home.  Sometimes students shared a meal with them.  There were always yummy snacks, good conversation and focused time in the Word.

Perhaps one day, one of my children will be in college and will attend a similar study in the home of a nice, young family from a nearby church.  Or perhaps they will lead one themselves once they are adults with families of their own. 

So friend, I'd love to hear about what was modeled to you as a young person that you now model for your own children?

Day 2: genesis and mercy

Last night I visited the page with all the 31 Dayers listed and, guess what?  There are over 1,000 topics to choose from!!  I look forward to pouring myself a fall-ish drink and sitting down for a nice long read through all that creativity!

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Here's my Day 2:
All scars tell a story.  Mine tell of an unexpected birth defect and of the miracle of medicine, even way back in 1973. 

And also, I believe, of the mercy of God.

Perhaps someone had thought it a great idea, let’s plan a baby shower on Veteran’s Day for my veteran Dad and his young bride.  The party happened, gifts were given, but instead of being surrounded by smiling faces and a mound of presents, my Mom was at Maryland General Hospital on the morning of her baby shower, giving birth to me. 

My parents were both very young when I came into their lives.  My Mom was 20, my Dad, 24.  They had no warning from an ultrasound to tell them that all would not be well with my birth.  I came into this world six weeks early, tiny, with half of my insides where they weren’t supposed to be. 

Born at Maryland General Hospital in Baltimore, I was promptly delivered into an ambulance and rushed across town to John’s Hopkins Medical Center and directly into surgery to fix my gastroschisis. My Mom was kept at the General Hospital for at least a few days.  My Dad wearily shuttled between two hospitals, between the two people he loved most in the world.  My Mom’s hair would turn gray with the intense stress of it all.

The surgery left me with a three inch vertical scar on my abdomen in place of a standard belly button, a funny round, bumpy scar on the middle left of my abdomen where there was a drainage tube for the surgery site and scars on my neck where the doctors placed the I.V.’s I needed.   Throughout my life, I have suffered much embarrassment from the funny scars on my neck.  And bikinis?  No way!

This year I am involved in a weekly, year-long study of the book of Genesis.  I am thinking about beginnings.  The story in Genesis 1tells of the beginning of our universe, our earth, ourselves, and it reveals much about the character God.  He is purposeful, orderly, creative, and powerful.  He sees both the big picture, and the smallest detail.  And when He wants something to happen, it does.

I see my scars as testimonies to God’s work in my life, from the very beginning.  He made no mistakes as he formed me in my mother’s womb.  He showered me with mercy, placing me in the right place, at just the right time.