Driving to bible study, I thought about the interaction I
had with my daughter just that morning.
She had made a futile search through her closet and drawers, unable to
find just the right kind of clothes to wear to her dance workshop. She was
stressed and feeling the time crunch as the clock moved relentlessly on. I tried to help, showed options,
offered suggestions. Nothing
worked. There were tears, and raised voices talking of consequences
and ultimatums.
The thing is, I know EXACTLY how she was feeling because I
have stood in her shoes, I have felt defeated and upset at not finding what I
needed in my closet. Yet I did not
treat her kindly. I started out well,
but as she continued to refuse my offers of help, I let the pressure of the
clock override my care for her personhood and feelings. I neglected to act with grace.
Ahhhh….grace.
Grace would have been just the ticket, just the thing to add to the mix
that morning, both grace for myself, and grace for my dear child.
Driving that morning, I began to travel the well-worn path
in my mind, which says that my triumphs or failures as a parent are the last
word in the lives of my children.
I carry the weight of being the perfect parent. I know deep down that
children are not math problems, but I desperately try to plug into the equation
that says: if I add up all the elements of being a perfect parent and execute
them on my children then they will turn out well and have happy lives. This
would be fine, I suppose, if I responded perfectly to every whine or insolent
look, guiding my children with just the right amount of grace and truth at
every step.
Yet clearly before me was an example of my failure to do
just that. No matter how hard I
try to be perfect, this equation will never come out right!
My children desperately need an example of perfection; the
balance of grace and truth that I have only seen lived out perfectly in one
Person.
John 1:17 says, “For the law was given through Moses; grace
and truth came through Jesus Christ.”
I read in my bible study lesson today that “God’s grace is
more immense than His universe and more powerful than all the forces of
nature.”
My children don’t need me to be perfect; they need to be
shown the One who is; they need me to sit at His feet, and to invite them there
with me.
*******************************
:) John says that Christ is the source of grace and truth TWICE in that passage, my BS studied the same section of scripture this week as you guys!
ReplyDeleteyou hit "the nail one the head" here my friend.
my challenge is remembering it in the moment. which then leads me BACK to the grace and truth ... and them seeing my need for His grace is as loud of a message to them as if i would have been able to give it.
You are right about "in the moment", Lisa. That is my struggle, as is evident in this post! But I am hopeful because over my parenting journey, I know I have learned and grown and, dare I say it, gotten better than I was when they were all babies and toddlers! I do think asking forgiveness and showing them OUR need for God's grace is one of the most powerful thing we can do as parents. So thankful for your comment here :).
ReplyDelete